Alice's Mommy Blog

Hello blog readers,

I know I said I would post about nice and running things but I’ve had some crap on my mind lately and I need a place to sort it out, so you all get it. If you are my friend in real life, I am fine (despite what this blog might imply) I just am trying to deal with all this crap now.

So my hubby and I have been having a bit of a hard time lately. I know that all couples go through this, and it’s part of growing together as parents, spouses and individuals, but I often feel overlooked, unappreciated and disrespected, and you can only take so much before you just stop caring, and I’ve hit that point. We’ve talked about it, and I will say he’s trying to make me feel more appreciated and is trying to do more of his share, but I still feel resentful and like he just doesn’t care about anyone but himself a lot of the time. At least now he knows how I feel and is working on letting me know how much he appreciates what I do, but actions speak louder than words, so it’s a work in progress.

I love being a mom and I love my working job. But in addition to all the things I love at work, I have a coworker who is making me feel uncomfortable. I wish they made me mad because I once had a faculty member yell at me, and I don’t tolerate that. If you make me mad I get nasty right back at you and stand up for myself, but with everything going on at home, I don’t really want to rock the boat with this person who makes me uncomfortable, so I’ve just kinda taken it over the past while. This person doesn’t respect my time, or speak to me like I expect from a colleague, and does some things that make me uncomfortable. It’s one of those gradual things that kinda snuck up on me and now I’m not sure how to proceed. My husband (who spent 7 years as a manager) said most people aren’t aware that they are making someone feel comfortable. So my husband suggested that I speak to the person about it but now the thought of having to do that makes me feel worse and worse. It’s causing a nagging stomach ache that won’t go away, and every time I see this person lately they are interrupting me in my office with other people, which doesn’t help their case, or make it easy to speak to them about it. But now I don’t know whether it is better to just bring it up to my boss and let him handle it all or to try and be reasonable as my husband suggested an speak to them first. I keep thinking of how I would feel if it were my girls and not me who felt this way, and I don’t ever want them to feel this way, but I also don’t want to blow something out of proportion when a simple (all be it stressful) conversation could have solved it. I don’t know if I’m just being too sensitive about this after being uncomfortable with a student previously this year but I can’t shake this feeling. I’ve decided not to talk about it yet with my boss, but if he asks me about it, I won’t lie. It’s just not who I am.

Finally, my opa is sick. I lost my father’s father right after Lillian turned one and now my mother’s father is taking a turn for the worse. He’s been sick for some time, but he’s in Germany so there is very little that we can do, and it may result in me having to use what little time I can get away from the office before the Fall term craziness hits to go to Germany, and then I have to leave Steve alone with the girls for a week, and I don’t honestly think he can manage them for a week on his own, so more stress.

So I need to talk to someone about all this nonsense. I’ve made an appointment with our counseling services for Wednesday so hopefully I’ll be able to work out some of these issues.

Wish me luck and hopefully things will sort themselves out soon.

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• Some things change. →