I have a few metaphors to describe how I feel right now. I could use the one about how I feel like I’m drowning. It doesn’t matter how much I work on things or how hard I try, I just can’t keep my head above water. I just keep sinking. I know it will get better, eventually, but I’m scared for Fall term, which for me starts August 26th.
The other (better) metaphor, is to look at my work life right now like marathon training. I’m in the tapper portion of training and on August 26th I’ll be at the starting line, gearing up for another, 42km journey/four week marathon of stress, and that process will be the race and the finish line will be the reunion event taking place on September 28th. I’m going to be physically drained and exhausted!
Regardless of how you look at it, I’m scared. I’m scared for all the work that is building up on my to do list, and how tight the deadlines are and how I just can’t seem to get everything done in my 7 hour day. I start the day with a perfectly manageable list, and after the barrage of interruptions from students, non-stop emails, fires that need to be put out, and help requests from and to my co-advisors nothing ever seems to get finished.
Some days I feel so frustrated. I wish I could just hide in another office to get all my work done but I don’t have the luxury of disappearing randomly during the day to hide somewhere and get my work done. I don’t have a co-advisor to hand half of my student emails over to. I don’t have a back up for my scheduling duties. I have a bunch of flex hours to use up, but I can barely keep up with my work now, so I don’t know how I am supposed to use them up when every hour I book off ends up costing me at least two hours of work.
I know this will sort itself out at the end of September. I’m going to be exhausted, mentally drained, and at the end of my rope, but it will come to an end after all the events are settled and events have happened.
Then at the end of the year, my co-advisor will be back, the new system should be functioning better at least than now, and the busiest term of the year will be over and I can hope for a new term, with less stress and less crazy.
Thanks for listening. At least I figured out how to handle my other issue with a coworker who made me feel uncomfortable. I was just honest and frank with him, and felt much better afterwards. He didn’t realize he was making me uncomfortable and I’ve had no problems since we talked. So at least one thing is looking up, and despite the crazy stress I’m facing and the fear I’m having, I do still love my job.
- Big plans for 2014, my 30th year!
- My hubby did it!