It all starts tomorrow.
I am standing at the start of a marathon race in the crowd of people with fences on either side (yes there are fences to keep people in the coral at big races for those of you who didn’t know) and there is no escape for me. The journey starts whether or not I am ready for it. Today is September 30th, and that means that my journey to get back to being myself, is starting. Honestly, I know I can do it again, since I have done it twice before, but that didn’t make it easy either time and it doesn’t make me any less nervous about this time.
I also have a lot of bad eating habits I developed in this pregnancy and since the baby was born that I need to kick. There are my 4 flavoured lattes a week, the sugar snack in the am that I need, the carb fix in the pm that I need, the 3 cups of creamy sugar filled coffee I need.
Sigh. It’s going to be a long and very hard first week since I need to kick this sugar fix, and doing that will require me to cook good and healthy food while I work on kicking the sugar habit. I’m going to need to hit the grocery store for extra fresh fruit and veggies, greek yogurt, lean proteins to help me feel full. I’ll need to move from sugary lattes to plain ones. A friend brought me lots of homemade soups, so that will help get me through the first few days. Then I have the Nourish cookbook to assist me in making healthy, fantastic tasting food and next week the skinnytaste cookbook will arrive so I can start cooking that food too.I have been cooking from her website for years and the food is always amazing so I ordered the book as a way to say thank you and have easy access to her amazing recipes. Conveniently, her site includes weight watchers point values for her recipes.
That brings me to the other big thing that I do, and that’s join Weight Watchers. Lucky for me Steve is doing it with me this time around, at least for 6 months, so I will have help avoiding temptations and keep me on track. So will the new in Canada mobile apps we have.
So here I am standing at the starting line of this amazing journey that will be worth it, and I will do it and feel amazing about it when it’s done, but today I do not feel this way. Today I feel sad, stressed, and anxious. I don’t like the way that I look today, and I hate the way that I feel today. I know part of the tired is having an itty bitty baby and physically I feel fine now, and can start getting back into running (which I will be doing either this weekend or next week – more on that in a separate blog) which will help. But I feel sad about how I look. Nothing I own fits besides yoga pants and that makes is so frustrating when we want to go anywhere, or when we want to take family photos. I love my son more than anything and gaining this weight for him was worth it, but I will be stepping on that scale tomorrow morning and I could have 40 or 45lbs to lose and that will take a long time.
Wish me luck and I hope you will join me on this journey and stick around while I try to do this with three very busy little monkeys!
Ha! Your face in this photo is priceless! Good luck! I know you can do it super-mama!